It's been some time...

It's now almost 7months since I've been here.... and what's more my parents will be coming in about 2 months... it's good news that we'll b together.... the bad news is.. well the house we are living in is not likely to sustain 9 people... it's much too crowded... My sis and I are thinking about moving out into a small apartment, preferably downtown... But financially we are still not very stable and once we move out, we'll have to deal with bills and expenses on food and miscellaneous needs... *sigh* And my sis is trying to save to further her education here... and it's hard to have so much money flowing out for all these things and still save for education...

I don't know how we are gonna do it but I'm actually looking forward to doing this... I think that we are both now young adults and while it's gonna be hard, I think we should experience some of the hardship that comes with independence... It's always easier to just live how we are living now... with the family here and just spending money like allowance on things that are not really needed... it's so much easier...

I've never been sure of alot of things in my life... sometimes I like to go with the flow (someone else's flow)... But I think that moving out is something I want to experience... and I hope that it'll help me develop into someone better, more independent, more mature and more street-smart...

I hope that I have the courage and drive to follow this through... I don't want to chicken out when the going gets tough....

Learning to be grateful...

Today on the bus, I got pickpocketed on a crowded bus... my bus pass and a box of tic-tac was stolen... I saw the person put the tic-tac in his pocket... I said: "Hey!" because I felt someone's hand reach inside my bag... but even though I witness the person steal my things... I did not confront him... I told my sister that someone stole my things... (in mandarin) The pickpocket knew he was busted... so he quickly moved to the back of the bus... I was in a state of shock and later cried... not bcos I lost those things but bcos I was angry with myself for not reacting...

Throughout the whole bus journey, I kept replaying the scene of what I could have done, what I should have done...

I was angry that I lacked the courage to stand up and confront the pickpocket... even though I saw him steal with my own eyes...

I thought if I couldn't even confront someone who steals my things, will I look away if I see a pickpocket stealing someone else's things?

I hated my own cowardice...

My sister tried her best to console me but my anger toward myself was so much that I ignored her...
On the way home, she told me that I was always very lucky... even though the pickpocket stole my bus pass and my tic-tac, my loss was not great...at least he didn't steal my cell phone or my wallet... She says I was had so much luck that I never see just how lucky I was...

When I was in Singapore, I left my handphone twice and my wallet 3 times overnight in my bicycle (basket) parked in the void deck... and I always recovered them the nxt day...

I dropped my wallet on the street once and a stranger returned it to the police station...

In sec sch, someone stole all my money when I went for the morning assembly and my classmate Brian recovered the wallet and my other personal belongings in the dustbin... the wallet was a present frm my sister when she went to australia...

My sister was never so lucky...

She lost her wallet to a friendly person only to discover later that he was a pickpocket...
She dropped her Nokia 3310 (1st handphone) from the table and it broke...
I put her 3rd handphone in the washing machine not knowing that it was in her pants...
She dropped her 4th handphone on a cab, went back less than 5 minutes later and the person denied finding any phone...
She dropped S$50 outside our house in the corridoor... it was never found...
She lost her bus-pass (US$45) on the 8th of last month...

My experience today pale in contrast to her entire history of bad luck...

My handphone was in the same section as my tic-tac and bus pass... so i was really fortunate.. plus the bus pass expires at the end of the month and today's already the 22nd....
I wonder why I didn't see it this way... perhaps my luck haf made me take for granted that misfortunes will not happen to me... and when it does I get angry that I angry that it happened instead of seeing the silver lining in my misfortunes...

I feel bad now that I made such a big deal of this matter when things far worse haf happened to my sister and that she had to console me over this small matter...

Thanks Ga for making me see....

I truly am grateful......

21 and counting

So now I'm 21.... I'm glad to report that everything is stil the same... =) Well.. except that now, 21 in USA means the legal age to consume alcohol... but then I dun really love alcohol... so not much different there...

Anyway some updates on wat I've been up to (since I haven't been bloggin that often these days) I'm going to enroll in some dance courses for the nxt semester in June... Anything beats this monotonous routine of going to work everyday, doing nothing at home... there is very little significance in my life right now...

I mean I'm 21 now...but then I'm not doing much with my life now... Seriously, I need to take some time to think about what I want to do in the future... at the moment, everything is not very clear to me.... I need more courage to make a decision to do something with my life...

Even though I miss my friends and family in Singapore, I'm quite glad that I'm away here in USA... being here has forced me to think about what I want from my life... In the past, I'm always procrestinating about thinking about the future... I think that when it hits me, then I'll think about what I'm gonna do about it... but being in this new environment has edged me to do more with my life... Even though now it's monotonous, I'm quite positive about my future here... I hope that I can experience more living here... and grow emotionally and spirtuallyas a person...

Thanks to all of u who sent me e-cards, emails and presents (Zan!)... it really made my birthday this year a very special one! Thanks guys! =)

"Man on the Moon" - R.E.M

I just finished watching "Man on the Moon" a biography on comedian Andy Kaufman. Great movie.

I Will Follow You into the Dark

This is one of favourite songs... enjoy all...