I don't think i'm the same person that i was back in sg... and i don't think i ever will be the same person... and while i miss so much in Singapore, i am really grateful that i have experienced all that i have experienced here... and although it was an uphill battle, i think that it was worth it... seeing more and feeling more...
Facebook is the ultimate stalker tool... it's damn scary that it lists every action of each individual of whatever they do on Facebook...
The access people have of your life is actually kinda scary... This is miniature version of probably what celebrities get in 1 hour...
Even I get access to the lives of people whom I don't even know... some friends of friends of friends... or in the same network or something...
I already try to keep my profile and photos as private as possible... but then i think if u click around, u'll just get around to it...
It is easy to use and to share information and photos with friends but starting to not like the access so many other people have to what I put on Facebook...
I just removed some profile information and the next thing I know darren is telling me that I am attached... fuck... all I did was try to limit my information... Facebook seems to assume that everyone lives by the same philosophy- "Oh look at me! Look at me! Here, here... Me me me!"
*sigh*....................
The past 2 years have made me seen and experienced a lot more... most of them were difficult times... but then I can't complain... because I now know what it means that what can't kill you can only make u stronger... I think so... that a lot of what I have gone through in these 2 years have made me a stronger and I think a better person... I think I've come to appreciate much more what my parents have done for me in the last 20 years and know that bringing us up is not an easy job...
I know I complained or was upset about alot that has happened in this 2 years... but I am really grateful for them... because I much prefer the person that I am right now than the self-centered and spoilt child that I was... No doubt, still with many flaws but I felt I have grown up more in these 2 years than in the other 20 years of my life...
I know that I have much more than many other people in the world... U never get to see the poor people in Singapore.. here in SF, they are everywhere... I have a home over my head, a family that looks out for me and a job that supports my own expenses... I can even help out paying some of the bills at home... I am 22 and not a child anymore... don't think my parents should pay for everything that I spend... For my trip, I feel that there is a ownership of this trip that I did this all by myself... the food, the things I buy, the tickets, the accomodation... this whole experience was made possible by my own effort...
I look forward to doing this again in September this year...
I guess that is true... but getting a little tired of waiting... And I don't even know what I'm waiting for..
I don't feel lonely.. I don't think I ever felt lonely because I've always been blessed with so many wonderful people around me... my friends and my family... I know I am never alone whether I'm in need of company or not... but u guys know me- doing things alone-like watching movies... I am not bothered by the fact that I'm by myself.. Sometimes I even like being by myself... gives me time and space to just observe people and places around me... peace and quiet that is hard to get in a crowd...
Although I must admit that I miss hanging out in a big group or having someone to talk to or do things with.. apart from my sister... but even she has been preoccupied...
I don't feel lonely or in need of anyone but then I also wonder how long before I meet someone with whom I have a special connection... I kind of envy a lot of you guys.. Relationship may cause sadness that you've never experienced before but then at it brings joy that is beyond what I know... and I yearn to feel the sadness and joy that comes with being in love... But like the song says, you can't hurry love... you'll just have to wait... yup, so I guess that's what I'll do... just keep waiting...
When it comes, I just hope I'm not too scared of falling out of love to take the chance of falling in love...
